There's nothing like a whole week off from work to lull you into a feeling like work doesn't exist. After an amazing week off from work for spring break, it's back to work in the morning. I feel weary at the thought. It's not that I dislike my job, in fact this work has been a passion of mine for years, it's the simple fact that home tugs at my heart every time I go. Nothing can prepare you for what it feels like to leave your baby. It's like breaking off a piece of my heart and leaving it behind me - and it's even harder now that he is starting to fuss or cry when I walk away. I want nothing more than to stay home and just be Mommy. I am not one of the mothers who need to work to feel fulfilled or maintain my own identity - I am so completely fulfilled by being Mom that I don't want anything more. It is a feeling of defeat knowing that we cannot make that happen and to feel that each day that goes by is another day I am missing with my son. It goes by so fast! I am so thankful that we have been able to avoid daycare and that gives me some comfort, but still - would you want to leave this precious face every morning??
Deep breaths...Tuesday here I come!
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